BURGERS N' BLING: MILLER'S NEAR & FAR

All my dating profile says is that "I hate cats, I love burgers" because, you know, that really tells you a lot about a person. Despite Taylor Swift's efforts, cat people are weird, and there is no way a hard-core carnivore could end up dating a vegetarian or, even worse, a vegan. Luckily I live in a city that is essentially a mecca for burger joints and enthusiasts like myself. Not one to let an opportunity pass me by, I created this column as an excuse to eat burgers on a weekly basis and tell you about my favorites. Since I am not a food critic and rather just a fashion girl who loves a good piece of red meat, I figured I'd shake things up and give you Burgers N' Bling -- accessory features with a side of beef. 

From left: Dannijo jeweled cuff/ring; Eddie Borgo five finger ring (available here); Glitter Bomb bracelet (available soon); Vintage Gucci watch

THE N & F BURGER @ MILLER'S NEAR & FAR, $14 

65 Rivington Street, New York, NY 10001

Set in a low-lit space with vintage decor and sparse seating, MIller's Near & Far gives off the vibe of an underground hangout -- it's glamorously discrete -- and this quaintness makes it the perfect spot to waltz into on a Sunday evening for some cozy bites. As soon as I saw Pat LaFrieda's name listed under ever burger on the menu, I knew I had found THE SPOT. For those of you who aren't as well-versed in the language of "meat celebrities," this is the guy behind almost every steak and burger on your best-in-the-city list (think Minetta Tavern and Shake Shack). Chef and owner Chris Miller further enticed me with his restaurant's namesake creation, the N & F Burger, and its Big-Mac jingle of a description: "two 4 oz Pat LaFrieda patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun." Who could resist a gourmet version of America's classic double cheeseburger? Served as rare as you want it, the N & F burger is a melted stack of juicy beef and white american cheese only amplified by its exclusive secret sauce. Zestier than the mayo and ketchup combo made famous by McDonald's, Miller's Near & Far steps up the super burger game again with its amped up, garlic-infused rendition. The point is that when you are using good beef you can get away with anything -- even re-creating a fast food sensation -- and I'm excited to try the more adventurous selections on the menu, particularly the Bialy Brunch Burger (crispy bacon weave, runny egg, cheddar cheese, on a toasted kossar’ bialy). Hungry yet? Head to the LES and give Miller's a try. 

Burger by Miller's Near & Far - 2 all beef 4 oz Pat Lafrieda patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun with fries

From left: Dannijo jeweled cuff/ring; Eddie Borgo five finger ring (available here); Glitter Bomb bracelet (available soon); Vintage Gucci watch

From left: Dannijo jeweled cuff/ring; Eddie Borgo five finger ring (available here)

Starving? On a date? Try the 2 CHEESEBURGER MEAL: Pat LaFrieda patty, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, on a potato bun with fries

Photos by Lucas Shanks 

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THE 5 W's: BABY RAPTORS

Check out our full interview with Baby Raptors aka Tora in her CULT Chat here. 

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NEW BLOOD ORANGE TRACK

It may have been two years since Dev Hynes has hit us with new music, but this 90s-era-Janet-esque slow jam was worth the wait. I'm bummed this track isn't on Itunes yet because it makes it that much harder to listen to it on repeat -- which I plan to do the rest of the day, maybe the rest of the year. Get a first listen to Blood Orange's 'Sandra's Smile' below: 

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#WIFEMATERIAL: VERONIQUE BRANQUINHO ROPE BELT

Most men shouldn’t be allowed to dress themselves let alone suggest what a woman should wear. But every once in a while I’ll stumble across an item of women’s clothing that makes me think, “I’d marry a girl on the spot if I saw her wearing that.” I call it #WifeMaterial. 

#WIFEMATERIAL: VERONIQUE BRANQUINHO ROPE BELT

Do you remember back in middle school (late 90s here) when “sagging” was a thing? I don’t mean to suggest that before then sagging didn’t exist or that even today young male teens don’t show their disdain for societal norms by resting the waist of their pants snug up under the horizontal crease of their asscheecks—they did it before and they definitely still do it now. But there was a time when it seemed like every local news broadcast put their house fire programming on hold to bring us an investigative report on pant-sagging teens. “SAGGING: Fashion trend? Or the beginning of the end of moral decency as we know it? And just how scared should you and your family be? More at 9pm.”

I never sagged my pants, really, except every single day of high school when I’d wear 4XL $5.99 sweatpants from Wal-Mart over basketball shorts. Also I never really had to, because JNCOs had the back pockets sewn low on the back so you looked like mid-concert Lil’ Wayne even though the waist of your pants was high enough for church. Actually sagging your pants at my middle school was risky, because around every corner there was a school administrator waiting to give you The Rope Belt™—a literal rope that some volunteer member of the PC Police force would tie around your waist to keep your pants up near your navel. It was always the same lady, too, the one who probably made every student get a signed permission slip to learn about evolution in biology class and see tits when your class watched Roots. Fuck that lady. And this particular rope, it wasn’t just some cute twine your one aunt who uses Pinterest would wrap around your least-anticipated birthday gift—this thing was closer to the thing you had to climb in gym class. Because of this, I learned more about belts in middle school than any other subject. Belts are good. The Rope Belt™ is bad.

However, I found a rope belt for this week’s #WifeMaterial that isn’t like The Rope Belt™ at all. This Veronique Branquinho rope belt from her S/S 2015 collection is hot as hell, not just because it’s that smooth off-white color but because it’s tied around the paper bag waist of a flowy white skirt and flowy denim instead of a teenager’s Old Navy Carpenter Jeans.

This Veronique Branquinho rope belt commands attention, and not in the “I’m wearing Vineyard Vines look at all these fucking whales” kind of way. More in the “I’m just a belt yet this entire outfit revolved around me” kind of way. The only other notable belt I can think of was the one David Carradine autoerotically asphyxiated himself with, so finally, some good news for belts.

[Images via Now Fashion]

Lucas Shanks is a writer and creative in New York City. If you want to marry him, you have to follow him on Twitter first.

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SOUNDSHINE 10.21.15

IT'S RAINING (PROBABLY). REGARDLESS, HERE ARE 6 HOT TRACKS TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY 

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